Have you ever calmly expressed yourself; to then be told:
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
What would happen if you told them:
“Don’t be so aggressive.”
Probably a tantrum or pouting session because you asserted yourself.
Hold the line. Calmly. No extra chatting.
Speak and then be still.
Being assertive is not mean or drama infused. It’s letting others know how to operate with you or when a line has been crossed, knowingly or unknowingly. When you are vulnerable to share, step back and see if they care.
Their failure to shift doesn’t equal a rift, but less access. Perhaps, total removal.
It’s okay to grieve what you may have to leave. Don’t feel guilt for needing to breathe. Your essence and presence; needs your protection.
Even pets, toys, and clothing – come with care instructions. Ignoring them can result in damage and in some cases, death.
Love yourself.
Love others.
Share your personal care instructions; factual not emotional.
Not long ago, I purchased these delicate sequin pants with feathers at the hem. A wardrobe investment piece.
Oooh, they are fancy and I “love” them so much.
Thing is…these pants – called for dry cleaning! I decided I wasn’t doing all that – that they would be fine going through the wash! After all, these care tags might be cappin – the extra hassle and steps seem a “little much” – so I washed them.
I pulled them out of the wash and the feathers were:
Ruined
I had to cut them off to save the rest of the pants.
If only the pants could’ve cut me off before I went to purchase. Perhaps, clothing designers have rants about how people mistreat their sequin feather pants! 😮
Thank God that we are sovereign!
Now the pants are still cute, but with zero airy flare! They look like they are flooding; they don’t touch my ankles.
I confidently wear them, knowing that they are missing a show stopping component.
If you don’t care for yourself and share with others how to do the same; you are positioning yourself to be harmed.
Others may be able to be “tossed to and fro” in love, but everytime they do it with you – it harms you.
Do tell.
Please share your care instructions. If it causes them extreme disruption despite their claims to love you…they have revealed their priority.
Be on your way.
In my experience, the “Don’t Be So Sensitive” line is basically people saying I’m not going to follow your “Dry Clean – Care Instructions”. They would rather you be disrupted and take the agressive spin cycle.
People are allowed to say “I’m not engaging with this item because it requires elevated care”. I’ve passed on items that say “Dry clean” or ” hand wash”. I recognized that I don’t have the maturity to do the work that gives the item it’s longevity.
We must be vocal and upfront about what we require.
Not everyone loves the costly maintenance that comes with delicate material.
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Muah,
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Lonisa Mari 