Back in the day, when I met someone new, I wanted them to walk away thinking one thing:

“She’s nice.”

Now? That couldn’t be further from the truth.

I want people to meet me and know immediately: We are not friends. Leave me alone and fall back.

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Shedding the “Nice” Mask

I am deeply comfortable being alone. I thrive in solitude. I’ve had to recover from so many people and my poor choices — and I’m still working on it. In spending time with myself, I realized the truth: I’m not “nice” at all. I’ve known this for a while – I just have suppressed it to “keep the peace”.

That “nice” identity was a false self I constructed, born out of deep-seated abandonment issues. It came with a toxic mindset that screamed, “Please stay, even if you ain’t acting right.” I would shrink back and claim this identity just to keep people comfortable. Hugs to that former version of me, but eew—I’m glad she’s gone.

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Claiming My Power

I am healed! Thank you, Jesus!

I no longer care who leaves my life. Those ridiculous people I fought to keep around through my “nice mask” were acting out because they could. In some cases, they still are. Now, they probably see me as a “bully” when I’ve just reclaimed the territory I gave them. Adjust.

I am content with my presence and recognize that I am a gift. For that reason, the first impression I want to give people is this:

Calm. Direct. With Explosive Potential.

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The New Boundary: Zero Countdown

When people meet me now, they need to know my boundaries are non-negotiable.

Don’t let the bubbly, bright exterior fool you. I have zero countdown. Tick me off, and the bomb goes off immediately. I will light you up and walk off.

It’s not about being aggressive; it’s about being authentic and assertive. My silence in a conflict is often the sound of me choosing to cut ties or gear up to strategically attack. There are levels to the plays I will run on those engaging in games.

When you see me – imagine that I have a cape on that says “Don’t eff around and find out”.

My first impression is no longer a pick me invitation. It is a boundary enforcement.

Muah,