Yea, Yea, Yea! I know as followers of Jesus we are to:

Count It All Joy

Who am I to challenge that?….

Bible is the truth. Our fleeting feelings are not.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing James 1: 2-4

Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean we won’t be in such agonizing pain that all we want to do is:

Bed Rot & Snot

Having feelings of despair is part of this faith walk! Look at Jesus! He was sweating to the point of blood! Go and listen to Psalms! Oh, when you do it is like a soothing balm that brings calm!

I’ve got:

Smiley Faces

all over my dwelling space, The Billionaire Bubble. Yet, I have spent many days and nights sobbing on the floor crying out – about how I can’t take much more. You wouldn’t know that if you walked through my door! You’d ooh and ahh at the bright and cheerful colors galore.

Unaware, that I recently text a long time friend that I felt “deep sadness” and just needed someone to know. I was sitting front row at church when I hit send on that text.

Thankfully, I have my own unique methods to support myself. Writing being one of them. 🙂

Have you had days where you have been crying out and calling on the name of Jesus for strength to pull yourself together? You have x amount of minutes or hours to get what you need from the Strong Tower so you can be a source of strength for those who need you.

Goodness, some of us don’t have the luxury of minutes and hours to get it together.

We got seconds! Tick, Tock!

At the time of this writing below I had about:

8 Hours

to go from a don’t nobody say nothing to me state of being to:

“Hey! Sweetie! How are you doing? “

Thought process.

Must. Get. Ready.

See, lots of snuggling was coming my way. Which I very much looked forward to!

Nevertheless, having to ready myself to give out hugs and kisses, when I barely had it in me to do dishes.

Challenging.

Had to accept my lot as the plot thickened.

Then get this. In this state of inner turmoil that was pretty much outer at this point.

I had this dang balloon I bought a while back in my room…posted up. Talkin’ about:

“Oh Happy Day”

With a bunch of smiley faces on it. LOL

Must. Find. Scissors.

Better yet a knife.

What can I say the inflatable wasn’t relatable?

Even so, I purpose to cling to this truth from God’s Word, the Bible:

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. Psalm 126: 5-6

Please know that it is normal, at least to me, to not even want to be encouraged by scripture when you are lamenting and in deep pain. It’s like that feeling you have when you know someone is saying something that is helpful, but at that moment – you just want them to let you have your moment and zip it. Like the friends of Job did when they first saw him – they just sat with him in silence. Sometimes that’s what we need.

God provides that.

How?

In that silence that we often run from, but once we snuggle in find quite warm. Like a snuggy.

In the silence with no human eyes, you can have a complete fit! Kick and scream on the floor in your birthday suit, wrapped in a bright sunshine yellow comforter. Yep, that’s been me! lol

Probably will be me again.

I tried to scroll it away and fight that fit off.

But, ” Oh, NOOOOO!”! It’s like my feelings have been caught on God’s big screen and he is – wait a minute:

Zooming In

Gone ahead and let the fit begin!

“Crash out” (as they say), responsibly.

Be a brave warrior, crumble into the truth of the present.

Today, is absolutely the day that the Lord has made. We are to rejoice and be glad in it! But remember, there is plenty of space to also have fits as we move through our days.

Although, our feelings are not truth. They give clear indicators of where we are. We’re not always smiling, sometimes we are sighing and crying. Like the toddlers do throughout the day.

Just like we laugh at their meltdowns, let’s do the same with ours.

Feeling & Carrying On,