How To Practice Self Care (beyond hair, nails, and spa treatment)

If there is one word that I would use to sum up my take on self care it would be:

Discipline

It’s making decisions and setting up systems for yourself today that tend to wounds from former versions of yourself, nourish your current self, and propel your future self into success. This type of self care may not feel good, but it is best.

I live a life where I train at a boxing gym in 60-75 min classes. I made the decision to invest and to show up 6 times per week. There are days I’m tired and don’t want to go, but I go anyway. There are days where my coach is telling me to do burpees, pushups, situps, and burn out on the bag – plus all these other drills & I want to leave. I wonder why am I here. But me getting there and staying going full throttle – is a form of loving myself deeply.

There are times where other boxers are done with their set before me. Many times, I will stay behind and finish getting my reps in. I had a boxer say to me, “Oh, You’re doing extra!”. I told him I didn’t finish in class, so I am now. He commented to the coach that this was not common. I carried on with my leaping squats. See these people I train with in the gym are not lifers. I am with me forever – and I know when I have short changed myself.

Discipline says finish even if no one ever knows!

God and I know – that is enough reason to run toward the finish line with excellence.

Self care is having the discipline to keep my word and commitments to myself.

Even in romantic relationships, I decided way up front before locking in to one in particular that I will not tolerate certain behaviors – such as cheating or abuse. I experienced those things and knew as the intensity of poor behaviors increased that – I had to go -> even though I didn’t want to, even though it would hurt, and even thought it would cost me greatly. My younger self – current self – and future self – have agreements to uphold. I’ll sacrifice the D from now until forever to have increased deep soul care intimacy with myself. No mattress meetings for me. It’s EZ to bend over and/or lay on your back – takes glamorous class to say ” you can’t tap this a*” and hold the line. Do this and you’ll weed out “trash” and “dusties”, making space for the top tier. I have the discipline to live long-term on planet Earth with these standards through Christ Jesus. My bar for true intimacy is high. I’m breathing fresh, non-toxic air over here

Pray for the discipline and power to walk by the spirit
(Ezekiel 36:16–38; Romans 8:9–11)

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and sorcery; hatred, discord, jealousy, and rage; rivalries, divisions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us walk in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.” Galatians 5:16-26

Let’s love ourselves enough to have the discipline to do what needs to be done even when we want to go the opposite direction.

See in the realm of boxing – I am able to punch and swing at my fullest capacity. It’s deeply therapeutic and empowering for me as I’ve not properly defended myself in the past, in my real life. As a result, of this boxing discipline I see myself strengthening not only physically, but in all the other “allies”; emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. – becoming an ally to my own self.

This is self care because when everyone else carries on with their life (and they will!) or are carried out of here to be burned up to ashes or buried 6ft deep (they all die eventually!) – I still have me. This is my responsibility and no one else’s.

Do you have you!?! Yes, God is with you – but are you with you?

Be honest. Take appropriate action.

Great self wounding comes from our dependency on others to be what we could be to ourselves. We self abandon just to have a hand to hold and/or to be part of a group structure. Later to find out they are gone and we did ourselves wrong…for what? Temporary company and false security?

Be done.

Living a life of discipline is like giving yourself a firm, structured hug.

I have days for washing my laundry, mopping my floors, cleaning my car.

I have systems for how I manage my household and clear expectations with my children on their responsibilities.

I have a daily posting streak to maintain on this blog! (and one for my daily 10k steps too!!!)

Self care includes putting stuff back where it goes ( so you are there for you in the future when you need that item), cleaning up, and being a good steward of what God has entrusted to you. (As I write this – I think about an area where I have lacked proper stewardship – not gonna beat myself, but will focus on getting stronger there. You do the same for whatever area(s) come to you – we’re growing for our next together).

I do not overextend and over-own for the poor choices of others, including adults and my children. Everyone has to step up. In my experience, people know exactly what they are doing and like to play dumb when they are called to the carpet on their shenanigans. Discipline says make them stand on their behavior no matter what excuses or manipulation they throw your way.

I have decided to not be anyone elses brain and to nourish mine, requiring others to step up or step aside.

I also know how to thrive alone and enjoy my own company. I’m very much tapped into my creativity and can entertain myself for years.

I don’t tear my own self down – so I don’t tolerate it from others who come to me trying to rip me to shreds. Tolerating being called a coward, bit**, weak, broken, unstable…is self hatred – ain’t no way one can eat at my table with that foolishness. That’s peasant unpleasant behavior, I’m a queen – get off my scene.

***The more you heal the less you tolerate non-sense.***

The above to me are deep forms of self care.

Getting nails done is great, but the polish chips.
Getting hair done is great, but the hair sweats out.
Getting massages is great, but the muscles tense back up.
Getting nice bubble baths is great, but it leaves a dirty ring behind (more cleaning).

I feel most loved by focusing less on pampering and more on pushing towards becoming my best self (and punching)!