You ever boldly set your standards with people, only to find yourself:

Repeating Them Again?!?

Perhaps this frustrates you because you continue to try different methods to increase…

the likelihood of your standards being sticky. You extend grace and flex your style to test out different communication methods – and still no change in behavior.

Lines Still Get Crossed

When that happens clock it and key into your response. Don’t dumb down humanity by continually lowering your standards. Keep your sanity and self respect in tact.

This applies to all types of relationships.

Personally define your line and protect it.

In boxing, there is a drill where we establish an imaginary line with our boxing partner. If that partner, crosses the line:

Immediately Jab

They do it again -> immediately jab. They do it again -> immediately jab, cross, hook!

The way that escalated it’ll have them like, ooh – made ya look! They should’ve checked their behavior and signed the waiver.

The more you keep speaking about your standards without defending them – the less serious you are taken. How do you expect people outside of you to respect you when you show them that you betray your own self?

Love yourself enough to be loyal to you. None of these people are with you 24/7 – manage them accordingly.

Put a high ticket price on your time and energy.

Recently, I found myself repeatedly telling my sons to keep their bedroom doorway path clear. They would nod their heads and tell me okay. Had me convinced that this would be the end of these types of talks. Yet, I would continually see one of them leaving stuff all over the floor , not matching their verbal commitment. I thought to “give another talk” about the importance of keeping entry/exit points clear in case of emergency, but this time – I had them pick up every item that was out of place and put in in my bedroom. I took an action that supported my expectation. They will get back the items when I observe them keeping their entryway clear.

Do I like doing these things? No. But one thing I hate is repeating myself and giving people space to continually show up poorly.

I am on Earth for a mission not constant collision with folks who refuse to actively listen.

Get with it or be blocked.

I am comfortable building and thriving alone (with dependency on God), of course. Don’t let people who are okay with crossing your lines emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, sexually – all the “allys” – keep doing it. In some instances there is no “saying it once” – they cross the line one time – swiftly kick them out to the curb for their cries of ” this isn’t fair” to be heard elsewhere- no questions or excuse gathering required on your end.

You don’t owe none of these people an explanation. They didn’t check in with you first before doing the most. “Enablers” are just as bad – if not worse than those classified as “abusers”. I know because I had one lump me in with an abuser – then try to act like they never did it. I’ve been abandoned by enablers and discarded by abusers in the past, I’m not taking another lap in that puddle of a mess! What makes it even more messy is when they spin the block talking about come back, my heart can’t be with you!

Prepare to be amazed! -> I had a romantic partner tell me to “cut myself vertically … kill myself… that he could do better without me… getting any b* to love him…as I offered no wins above replacement”…I eventually filed an “order of protection” due to him physically putting hands on me in my home -> * plot twist* – now that same man has begged me to come care for him when he was in crisis cause I’m the “only truth” he knows and cause he is “alone”!

I read his “crashing out” texts like stay far away from me …

Stop Where You Are!

Communicate your expectations one time – put it in writing if need be, then manage yourself and others according to your established ways of working. Not occasionally, not sometime, every single time.

Ring the alarm on your non-negotiable standards!

Stay Clear,