While many got fancy with their families and planned their brunch outings. I remained hidden in my:

Dwelling Place: The Billionaire Bubble

I still wanted to be apart of the Resurrection and Passover celebrations – so I styled myself

accordingly, but comfy! I wore a butterfly shirt today with a cross in the center with the word “faith” on it. One half of the butterly had florals and the other half was the standard butterfly wings.

I paired it with rose earbuds and a cross necklace with butterfly and pearl embellishments.

I listened to sermons, got my steps in, napped, watched random ish on YouTube and:

Sobbed For Jesus To Rescue Me From My Personal Pit

At one point I was laying on top of 3 poof pillows that were lined up on my rainbow rug. The pillows ironically looked like a caterpillar body.

My head pressed onto the top pillow. My stomach on the middle. My legs hanging off the third.

I threw a pink blanket over myself and cried out to Jesus, but also felt like I was suffocating cause the blanket was thick. bahahahahahha

So I had to pop my little head out this:

Bougie yet raggedy cocoon.

Then you look over on the wall and there is a deflated caterpillar balloon adhered to the bottom of the wall and deflated butterfly balloon placed higher up on the wall. Decorating with balloons has become a thing.

There have been many “He Is Risen” posts online and I was here grieving like, “Jesus, take me with you or reveal yourself to me like you did the disciples that day!”.

Still nothing. I heard nothing. I saw nothing.

Have you ever felt like you were abandoned by God Almighty? How did you overcome such a painful feeling?!?

I continue to get annoyed that I don’t get any dag nab visitations like some ppl get, but then again as I type this -> I remember that I have had some very mind blowing interactions with God – so I chillax on my frustration.

I decided I needed to get out to be around people for my wellbeing … so where did I go -> Dollar Tree. Plus, God often moves through people so I stepped out.

Surprisingly, I ran into one of the humans that brings me joy:

Eugene.

He spends a lot of time outdoors and it made me so happy to see him pushing his cart around at the store. We hugged and he shared some of his story with me. He looked very good despite his challenges and I congratulated him on coming so far. He was so accepting of his past choices and even some of the consequences he may have to face because of them. This encouraged me greatly.

During our conversation, he told me that even though he doesn’t want X consequence to happen, that he believes:

Rock Bottom

may be what he needs to really get his stuff together. We talked about having to start all the way over.

Ya know when you start over you may have a limp from the choices made in the previous chapters. Many say, “You are starting over from experience”, but fail to share that this may include evidence of wounding.

Eugene was the only person I talked to today, despite the cashier at Dollar Tree I talked to after. I am so thankful to have seen Eugene on the scene.

Although, hitting rock bottom may be the catalyst for change. I know that climbing out of that seemingly dead place can only happen with the resurrection power of Jesus.

He Is Risen.

There are times where we may feel forsaken, but let’s find comfort in knowing that Jesus had an unfathomable cry of desperation when walking through the depth of his assignment.

At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. ³⁴ And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). Mark 15:33-34

We must know that God is with us even if his presence isn’t felt or seen – this is where our faith must shine through.

I don’t know where you find yourself in your spiritual journey, but know that you will rise again!

Cling and cry out to Jesus through the catastrophic emotions that wrap around your being.

The power of God that is at work in you and your life has already overcome every form of darkness! Believe!

It is written:

This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel, saying, ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ says the LORD of armies. Zechariah 4:6

Staying emPOWERed,

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