Lovely, please hear me clearly! Learn from my choices.

Do not Self Abandon

for a person, group, or system.

They will not be there to help restore you.

They will keep on living while you are recovering.

You may never get an apology.

In fact, when you seek it out they may try to sow seeds of doubt or diminish their actions.

The depth and length of your self abandonment feeds into the depth and length of time it will take to heal. Immediate transformation is possible when you radically commit to going after your freedom!

God is good, but he allows us to make our own choices and experience the consequences.

This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19

Love yourself enough to not put yourself in ordeals that will have you taking years to heal.

I encourage you to look over your life and identify the times you self abandoned – then seek to understand the why behind it.

Like a skilled athlete or performer –

Study yourself and the moves you made.

For example, in my own life, I am now clear on what I will no longer tolerate. People cannot mistreat me and then think they will be treated with access to my presence. I do not care if you are Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Spouse, Ex, Cousin, Pastor, Teacher, Friend, Boss, Co-worker, etc.

Disrespect is disrespect no matter the role or title. Why self abandon to experience more dysfunction? I don’t want togetherness that bad! Do you?

Dysfunctional group think will sink your destiny!

This is how I will no longer self abandon:

• If you call me out my name, I’m out.
• If you hang up on me, I’m out.
• If you tell me not to come back, I’m out.
• If you curse at me, I’m out.
• If you get in my personal space, I’m out.
• If you put hands on me, I’m out.
• If I ask you if there is an issue and you say no – then decide to ghost, I’m out.
• If you repeatedly cross my boundaries, try to manipulate me into guilt when I enforce them, I’m out.

For me, I have formerly self abandoned to try to keep things that were clearly broken – together! Then when I finally shook loose – I was left with deep deep deep recovery work – while those I tried to hold down – moved on. They didn’t care if I was gonna make it over the pain or how I’d go about rewiring my brain.

Why did I operate that way? Because I was concerned on what would happen to that person or system – if I told the truth. I also wanted acceptance and was willing to reject myself to get it. I was being loyal to lies that were coming for my demise.

I’ve had to repent from that way of being and continually cry out for redemption. While at the same time seeking to not repeat that toxic self abandonment cycle.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1: 5-6

I’m not here and your not here to live in a state of constant repair! Are we willing to dare to heal and step into all that God created us to be before the toxicity?

I am ready! Join me!

This isn’t about trying to prove something to those that have harmed us in our self abandonment stage. I don’t recommend that as that it still giving them power in your present – we are past that!

This is about reclaiming yourself off the shelf with boldness!

Please stay close to Jesus and do not leave yourself for any person, group, or system.

You are with you all your life – no one else. Remember this!

Stepping Empowered,