One summer, a man started walking towards me at a:

Dollar Tree Parking Lot.

I saw him approaching me, but continued loading my trunk. Maybe he needs something or we are to connect?

He got close up. It became clear that he was “unwell” (and I say that very cautiously…because we all have “stuff”?, perhaps his communication was “unraveled”… fits better?!? He spoke like a scattered ping pong bouncing between topics that were hard to latch onto….moving on….

He started asking me if I know Jesus – I said Yes. This made me think “Ooh a conversation on Jesus!”….

Well, he took a turn. Said a bunch of other ish.

Listen, someone bringing up Jesus does not mean they should be marked as safe! If anything, we should do a double take and inspect them with a fine tooth comb.

Eventually he asked me if I thought I was Beyonce and Mariah Carey.

I didn’t know what to say.

I mean, I definitely have googled how to sing like Mariah Carey and have practiced!

I kept that thought to myself and instead told him to back up from my trunk…he did. I was able to close the trunk. I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and trying to figure out how to escape into my car.

Then this man put his hand in his pocket. Oh Snap!

I backed up, thinking:

Yo, This Could Be It!!!

It’s been real! Pearly gates !?!

Thankfully, this dude only pulled out a wallet. Whew!

Idk why he did that.

I was able to make a run and get into the drivers seat of my car.

Next thing I know – he is banging on my window…yelling that I’m going to LA fitness with him!

No Sir! I’m Not!

I know I want to get back to lifting weights – but you are not my gym buddy!

Skrtttt!

After that experience, I wondered what the heck was that and what was the lesson.

One immediate takeaway was the importance of being aware of my surroundings and not being so welcoming.

Ugh this is challenging! We should not put ourselves in danger, but at the same time I really love connecting with people and don’t want to write people off. I mean who knows…the person I’m thinking I need to get away from, may actually have something meaningful to share. This is where being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and following his guidance for each situation is key.

I’ve learned that because of my love for people and belief in goodness/growth that I will let my guard down or let poor behavior slide because I am wanting to be friendly. But really,

Isn’t That Just Self Abandoning?

I’m done with that as it is damaging to myself. When those people are long gone, I’m left unpacking the painful aftermath. The man who I allowed to get too close to me at Dollar Tree was not thinking about my comfort! In fact, right after he was banging on my car window – I saw him approach some other women!

I thought about defending them, but what about me?!? Where was that energy when I thought he was going to harm me?

After an encounter like that – in combination with other experiences where my personal space was violated, I decided to take up:

Personal Defense

I’ve learned key situational awareness skills and how to defend myself, including those under my mantle of protection. Removing distractions and being present especially in transitional spaces, like parking lots and hallways, can be life saving!

Oh, I have so enjoyed the defense community! I’ve learned that many who defend are actually really caring. They will disarm a threat and then display compassion by calling that person an ambulance to be cared for, even patching up their wounds themselves if need be. At this defense academy, there are weaponry and first aid courses! This to me is balanced, healthy love. We can respect ourselves while also recognizing that the one doing harm needs care too.

My instructor, John, is expertly trained, no-nonsense firm with a passion for strengthening women! I’ve also met amazing women in my training who are confidently entering spaces like:

Tomb Raider “Lara Crofts” & Angelina Jolie “Mrs. Smith”.

Yasssssssssssss! Here for it!

As a result of my defense training, I am no longer in the lala land zone, but in the scanning for threats zone. Not to the point of paranoia, but a healthy awareness. I’m glad to be empowered to love others while asserting that I will defend myself. I am not an aggressor and don’t go looking for fights, but I will do my best to de-escalate. I know to seek escape and to use my voice – while loudly stating:

I fear for my life! I will defend myself!

and how to use physical force, as a last resort! This level of empowerment and equipping comes with great responsibility. I’m committed to continual defense education and training.

If you’ve had experiences where your physical safety was threatened I encourage you to register for a self defense class near you. Perhaps those experiences are calling for you to step into deeper healing and empowered living.

Stay ready out here – if you gotta lovingly mase or knock a ninjago out -> do what you gotta do! Just make sure you point them to help too! 🙂

Shine bright – defense strong,